In my years of experience working as a crisis and trauma therapist, I’ve found that with the right support, people do get better. In addition, we innately have a desire to hold on to life, to live. The fact is, if you have ever had the desire for things to get better or for something to change (even if it seems impossible), you have a reason to hold on to life for now. This is your body’s way to grasp on to life. If you have felt confused and uncertain about what to do in life, this is also a good indication that your innate desire to find a way to hold onto life is alive and kicking. Our body gives us clues that we truly want to live even if it is the faintest desire for things to be different, but we need to listen to those clues. Now is a good time to listen to what your deepest yearnings are telling you, to live—of course, without this pain.
What are some reasons you have to live? Even if they seem insignificant, they are important. Otherwise, the deepest part of your mind would not have taken the time to consider these options. At the very least, I invite you to be willing to keep yourself safe. Be open and curious about how things can change and what change might look like.
My goal is to get you the right support to keep you safe. In order to accomplish the goal of keeping you safe for now, here are some things you can do to cope with thoughts of suicide.
Make a promise to keep yourself safe for now. Even if you are overwhelmed with emotional pain, explore the possibility that these emotions can change. Like a physical wound, although it will take some time to mend or heal, emotional wounds do heal with the proper care. First and foremost, however, it is important that you keep yourself safe for now. This lets you explore ways to improve your situation and build resiliency to flourish in life. Seeking help is a very effective way to support this goal of safety. Reach out to someone you trust and ask for their help. This can include professionals.
If You Are Experiencing Suicidal Thoughts, You Are Not Alone.
Talk to a Mental Health Professional.
Call the National Suicide Hotline Number at: 1(800) 273-TALK (8255)
Avoid using alcohol or drugs. Even if used recreationally, drugs and alcohol can impair our judgment and inhibit our ability to control impulses. This is because drug and alcohol use can cause the executive functions of the brain to shut down or go offline. Thus, for now, avoid any use of alcohol or drugs since it can lead to you acting on thoughts of suicide.
Create safety in your environment. Remove from your environment anything that you can use to hurt yourself. If this is impossible, remove yourself from this environment and go somewhere where you can be safe. Make sure not to be alone. Although we might feel like being alone, our best line of defense is to create a safe environment by connecting and bonding with others. This is because, biologically, we are wired to recover in the context of relationships.
Remember to hold on to hope. I have seen thousands of individuals in a state of crisis. Each one was going through hard times, but with time their situation has always improved. Yes, if you are having thoughts of suicide, you are obviously going through hard times. Otherwise, you would not be having these thoughts. But trust me when I say that things can get better, even if it’s hard to believe.
With the right support, people do get better. No matter how painful your life is right now, things can get better if you give yourself time and the support that you need to heal.
Seek professional help. More than likely the pain that led you to contemplate the possibility of taking your life did not happen overnight. Likewise, the healing process will take time. It can help to reach out to professionals who have experience in helping individuals with thoughts of suicide. If anything, they can help you put things into perspective. They can also teach you additional coping skills to handle whatever life throws your way (resiliency).
Helpful Resources
- American Association of Suicidology: www.suicidology.org
- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention: www.afsp.org
- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Books
The Resilient Learner: Thriving and Succeeding in College - https://publish1st.com/assets/materials/dr-aubrey/ResilientLearner.pdf
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